


Free!: Notte Bianca Fills (ITALIANO) / Free!: Short Fics (ENGLISH)

by Akira14



Category: Free!
Genre: DEATH IS ONLY IN CHAPTER 4, F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-21
Updated: 2015-08-03
Packaged: 2018-02-09 21:11:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 13
Words: 10,002
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1997973
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Akira14/pseuds/Akira14
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Capitolo 1: Straziante addio MakoHaru, il giorno della partenza di Makoto per Tokyo.<br/>(ITALIAN)<br/>Capitolo 2: MakoRin, Drunk!Rin<br/>(ITALIAN)<br/>Capitolo 3: Mikoshiba corre in un campo di grano (Sei/Gou)<br/>(ITALIAN)<br/>CAP 4: "Makoto muore" + "Ho alzato lo sguardo e, per la prima volta, la tua mano non c'era" (MakoHaru)</p><p>CH. 5:  SouRin "the guys thought they could settle EVERYTHING with JanKenPon... They were wrong."<br/>CH. 6: SouRin, ONESIDED, inspired by little Sou's face when he realized Rin had stopped writing him<br/>CH. 7: SouRin, "There's something off about Sousuke, and Rin is determined to know what is it."<br/>CH. 8: SouRin, "Sousuke and Rin babysit together and imagines themselves in the future together with kids"<br/>CH. 9: NagiRei, "Rei is really, really sick. But, Nagisa's taking care of him. He needs to help bathe Rei, because the megane is feverish, and dizzy"<br/>CH. 10: SouRin, "Rin learns to be a little less self-centered, whilst Sousuke learns to a little more selfish"<br/>CH. 11: Sou&Ai, "Nitori has been coached by Sousuke on how self-assuredness makes you sexier."<br/>CAP 12: SouRin, "Una festa non richiesta."<br/>CAP 13: HaruNagiSou, "Oh so quiet"</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

_‘Non andare. Resta.’_ Vorrebbe saper dire. Ma per chi? Per lui? Ma perché? Soltanto perché non gli va a genio di cambiare abitudini, di non avere più le solite persone attorno ed essere costretto a socializzare – o provarci senza grandi risultati almeno – con dei perfetti estranei. Non è abbastanza per trattenere Makoto, e non sarebbe nemmeno giusto farlo. Perciò non può mostrarsi debole, non può far intravedere le proprie incertezze o la paura che l’acqua torni ad essere un’estranea ora che non ha più né Rin (partito per un ritiro con la Nazionale) né Makoto con cui nuotare.

Esistare equivarrebbe a far scattare nel suo amico l’istinto di restare e no, non può permetterlo. Perché magari il mondo non merita la gentilezza e l’affabilità di Makoto, ma lui invece il mondo intero lo merita eccome.  
Non può rimanere in eterno tra le stesse stradine, a contatto con la stessa gente, appiccicato ad un certo individuo in particolare. Dice che non gli dispiacerebbe affatto, certo, ma Haruka sa che è la paura a parlare. Perché rimanere nella loro città è come continuare a nuotare nelle corsie che conosci da una vita, con le persone a cui tieni che ti fanno da bagnino. Tuffarsi in una metropoli, invece, equivale a gettarsi in un burrascoso oceano. Le onde potrebbero sopraffarlo, oppure potrebbe tornare più forte e sicuro di sé, avendo imparato come non farsi trascinare a fondo.

 _’Portami con te.'_ Questo è il passo successivo, l’ennesimo pensiero a cui non po’ dar voce. Perché ancora non ha deciso, Haru, cosa fare della sua vita ma certo seguire la corrente e farsi influenzare dalle scelte di Makoto non è in cima ai suoi desideri.  
Perciò se ne sta zitto, se ne sta in disparte mentre lo osserva salutare la sua famiglia ed i suoi amici.

“Scrivi, mi raccomando.” Gli ordina Gou, come se delle parole su uno schermo potessero sostituire davvero la voce di Makoto.  
“E mandaci un sacco di foto!” aggiunge Nagisa, tirandolo per un braccio mentre i gemelli si aggrappano all’altro. Beati loro, a cui bastano delle foto per avere l’illusione di essergli vicino.  
“Avvisaci, se torni.” Borbotta Rei, ricordandogli un’eventualità a cui aveva preferito non pensare: questo non è un addio, è un arrivederci che si ripeterà ancora ed ogni volta sarà sempre più lampate quanto lui e Makoto ormai abbiano due vite **completamente** separate. E ciò è un bene, no? È esattamente cià che vuole per lui, la ragione stessa per cui non può chiedergli di rimanere né andarsene via con Makoto. Quindi perché gli si stanno inumidendo gli occhi? Perché sente le guance bagnarsi, costringendolo ad alzare il volto verso la pioggia e sperare che nessuno noti le sue lacrime?  
Non la vuole la seccatura di doversi spiegare, di doverle giustificare.

Makoto annuisce, assicura a tutti che si terrà in contatto, poi alza lo sguardo verso Haru e sa perfettamente cosa deve fare. Non pronunciare sterili giuramenti, non dargli blande rassicurazioni. Facendosi strada tra gli altri, che in un primo momento restano un po’ sbigottiti e non capiscono bene cosa intenda fare o quale sia la sua meta – per poi ricordarsi che sì, in effetti Haru-chan è sempre stato lì in mezzo a loro – lo raggiunge e lo abbraccia. Stretto quasi fino a fargli male e tanto a lungo che Haruka quasi perde la cognizione del tempo.  
“Non ti dimentico. Non ti sostituisco.” Non riesce a trannersi dal dire, mentre un Haru insolitamente affettuoso nasconde il viso nell’incavo del suo collo e gli accarezza la nuca. “Non farlo neanche tu, Haru-chan.”  
Ed è la prima richiesta egoistica che gli abbia sentito fare, l’unica che sia venuta fuori senza dovergliela estrarre con le tenaglie e ciò ha un non so che di confortante.  
’Non lo farò.’ Risponde il suo cuore. “Farò quel che mi va di fare, Makoto.” Dicono le sue labbra.  
Makoto scoppia a ridere, ma le sue spalle tremano come se piangesse.  
“Okay, okay.” Dice, con voce incerta. “Mi mancherai. Prenditi cura di te, mi raccomando.  
“Mh.” Lo allontana, prima di fare qualcosa di assurdo tipo baciarlo.

Be’, si è fatto vedere e pure abbracciare. Ora può tornare a dedicarsi a cose più importanti, più fondamentali, tipo prepararsi una cena a base di sgombro.  
Se qualcuno s’accorge con quanta inusuale velocità si allontana in direzione apposta al treno su cui Makoto è appena salito, be’, nessuno ha l’intenzione di farglielo notare.

Haruka, invece, non si fa alcun problema a dire a Gou, Nagisa e Rei di non intrufolarsi in casa sua la mattina per essere sicuri che arrivi in orario in università. Non si fa remore a vietargli categoricamente sia quello sia l’offrirgli una mano per uscire dalla vasca. O l’indovinare a cosa stia pensando.  
Lui le mantiene, le sue tacite promesse. Si augura che Makoto faccia lo stesso e torni da lui. Che torni per restare, e costruire una vita insieme. Non ora, che non sono pronti, ma tra qualche anno.  
Potrebbe dimenticare, ma Haru vuole credere che non lo farà. **Deve** crederlo. O respirare diventa annaspare in cerca di un appiglio che non c’è più.  
Tornerà, Makoto. Ricorderà.  
Non c’è altra prospettiva possibile, no. Siamo intesi?


	2. Chapter 2

“Te l’hanno mai detto che hai davvero una bella schiena?” Chiede, facendo scorrere le labbra lungo la spina dorsale del suo interlocutore che, schiacciato dal suo peso, sembra incapace di potersi rialzare.

“Gou-chan ha menzionato qualcosa del gen- … AHIA!” Esclama l’interpellato, dopo aver ricevuto un bel morso sul fondoschiena.

“Non parlare di mia sorella quando siamo assieme, _please_.” Sbuffa, accarezzando distrattamente la pelle su cui ha lasciato dei segni piuttosto evidenti della propria affilata dentatura. Per via dell’alcol la vista gli si è un po’ offuscata e non riesce a cogliere ogni singola reazione di Makoto, ma questo… Questo lo vede eccome. 

“Ma tu mi hai chiesto…” Ancora una volta viene interrotto. Da una mano che si stringe attorno alla sua erezione e da una bocca che reclama la sua, per essere più precisi. Oh be’, la precisione in effetti latita stasera e in questa stanza. 

Manca, nei movimenti di un Rin ubriaco abbastanza da non riuscire a coordinare perfettamente i propri gesti, ma non così tanto da non rendersi conto di cosa stia facendo.   
Manca, nei pensieri di un Makoto che non sa bene cosa ci si aspetti da lui ma che non vuole assolutamente deludere il suo partner.

“No, perché è veramente una bella schiena.” Riprende Rin, ridacchiando mentre gli sfiora con la punta delle dita dapprima le scapole e poi la colonna vertebrale. “Roba che mi vien voglia di lasciarci un segno tangibile del mio passaggio, capito?”

“Fallo.” Ribatte Makoto, facendosi serio ed arrossendo come un peperone. Ah, l’innocente Makoto che gli dà carta bianca perché crede che con ‘segni’ lui intenda qualche morso ed un paio d’unghiate. Dovrebbe averlo imparato, ormai, che non è abitudine di Rin andar tanto per il sottile o limitarsi.

Be’, è proprio il caso di dargli una bella ripassata e di concludere il tutto venendo su quella sua magnifica schiena, giusto?  
Giusto.


	3. Chapter 3

Seijuro non è il tipo che si crogiola nei ricordi, che si volta continuamente nella speranza di ritrovare qualcosa che è andato smarrito nel passato.   
No, di _solito_ non lo fa. Guarda avanti, lui. Ma poi ci sono quei giorni in cui gli arrivano voci che Momotarou ha ripreso a nuotare a livello agonistico e si ritrova a ripensare alle loro gare quando erano bambini. Momo-kun, in realtà, un po’ bambino lo è ancora. Lo sarà sempre, ai suoi occhi.

E ci sono momenti in cui vede un campo di grano e ci vorrebbe correre attraverso, come facevano anni fa prima di trasferirsi in una cittadina costiera.   
Gli manca la spensieratezza di quei giorni, il tuffarsi tra le spighe e rotolarcisi finché qualche contadino non usciva fuori urlando che gli stavano rovinando tutto il raccolto (e poi la gente diceva a lui, che era esagerato!). Sono giorni che, però, non potranno mai più tornare. C’è una vita intera, una vita futura in cui Momotarou non è contemplato – ‘niente distrazioni, Seijuro, non è più tempo di giocare a nascondersi e rincorrersi nei campi di grano’ – su cui focalizzarsi.

“Mikoshiba-san?” È Gou ad allontanarlo da quei nostalgici e malinconici pensieri. “Passando per di qui dovremmo accorciare la strada.” Dice, prima di sviare dalla strada per tagliare attraverso un campo di grano. La coincidenza non gli sfugge, ma è troppo impegnato a esultare internamente per il fatto che lei gli stia tendendo la mano per concentrarsi su qualsiasi altra inezia. “Cosa aspetti? Dobbiamo correre, o non faremo in tempo per la gara di Rin e Momotarou-kun!”   
“Agli ordini, Kou-chan!” Annuisce con decisione, prendendole la mano e seguendola attraverso il campo.

Perfetto: non c’è niente di meglio di creare nuovi ricordi, per non perdersi ad idealizzare quelli del passato. Specie se lo si f con una persona speciale. E magari per Gou lui è solo un ragazzo belloccio con dei muscoli favolosi, ma per lui è diverso. Lei è ben più di un bel faccino, per lui. Sa bene di conoscerla a malapena, ed è per questo che vorrebbe conoscerla meglio. Sapere di lei cose che dovrebbero farlo fuggire a gambe levate ed invece lo convincono ancor di più a restare al suo fianco.

Sa che anche Momo-kun è animato dalle stesse intenzioni. Non potrebbe chiedere di meglio. Gli erano mancate le loro gare, e questa davvero non ha alcuna intenzione di perderla.  
Sì, be’, lo sa che Gou è una persona e non un premio ma ciò non impedisce al suo spirito agonistico di infiammarsi o di percepire una sana rivalità tra fratelli.  
È fatto così, e non ha nessuna intenzione di cambiare. Neppure per lei. Prendere o lasciare.


	4. Chapter 4

La vita e la morte hanno molto meno senso di quanto non gliene si voglia attribuire. Perciò è inconcepibilmente stupido chiedersi perché Makoto non ci sia più. O domandarsi perché mai nessuno si sia accorto di quel qualcosa nella sua testa che aspettava solo l’attimo giusto per esplodere.  
Non ci sono ragioni, non ci sono risposte. Non c’è un bel niente.  
Nessuno poteva saperlo, dicono. I medici, in primis, che non vedono l’ora di lavarsene le mani.  
Rei continua a ripeterselo, incapace di andare avanti senza avere una spiegazione **razionale** per ciò che è successo. Nagisa, Gou, Miho e Sasabe-san fanno lo stesso, decisi a liberarsi di uno scomodo – nonché inutile – senso di colpa. 

Haru, però, non riesce proprio a convincersene. Avrebbe dovuto sapere. Avrebbe dovuto capire.  
Se ne fosse stato in grado, magari Makoto sarebbe ancora… ed invece no. Non è stato fortunato come _quella_ notte, la notte in cui Makoto e Rei sono quasi annegati. Non si è accorto di nulla, finché Makoto non si è accasciato a terra, ed allora era già troppo tardi.

Deve imparare a vivere in un mondo senza Makoto, adesso. Uno in cui, se gli manda una mail con su scritto ‘ _Ho alzato lo sguardo e, per la prima volta, la tua mano non c’era.’_ non riceverà alcuna risposta.  
Uno in cui deve imparare ad ottimizzare i tempi fin da quando si alza al mattino, sempre che gli interessi non snervare chiunque con i suoi costanti ritardi. Uno in cui deve esprimere a parole ciò che sente, perché gli altri non sono in grado di capirlo solo da uno sguardo. Non è tanto sicuro di voler restare in un mondo del genere, e la cosa un po’ lo spaventa.

Ad essere onesti, lo spaventa a tal punto da confessarlo a Rin. L’unico che, a modo suo – uscendo a correre e sparendo per **giorni** \- pare essere turbato dalla scomparsa di Makoto tanto quanto lui.  
Non sa cosa si aspettasse da lui. Non un abbraccio, non un impacciato tentativo di confortarlo.  
Certo non un sonoro ceffone e neanche le sue dita serrate attorno alla stoffa del proprio colletto.  
“Non dire mai più una cosa del genere! Non pensarla neanche, siamo intesi? Makoto vorrebbe che tu…” 

Makoto vorrebbe, più di ogni altra cosa, essere vivo. Non prendiamoci in giro. Se ne rende conto anche Rin, e perciò si interrompe. “AL diavolo. Lui non c’è più, e quello che avrebbe voluto conta relativamente. Poco o molto, dipende da te. Per questo ti chiedo di farlo per chi rimane. Per chi ti vuole bene… Va avanti. Fallo per me. Fallo **con** me.

"

Per Rin, sì, ci può provare. Per Makoto ci può riuscire.


	5. JanKenPon

Once upon a time, there were two boys who had quite a singular way to put an end to all their disputes.  
‘So… How do we settle this?’ is a question they both stop asked themselves a long time ago, indeed.

Who stays on the top bed and who is on the bottom? Rock-paper-scissors, and the winner gets to choose.  
Who will make sure Nitori and Mikoshiba won’t end up killing each other? Rock-paper-scissors has an answer for that too.  
Who will eat the last piece of a dish they both love, who will have the last homemade cookie, who will drink the last can of soda? Rock-paper-scissors will take care of that.

It has always worked out quite nicely, and if Rin has noticed the unbelievable amount of times he wins – pretty much **every** fucking time – he has never brought it up with his roommate.  
Either he really thinks that his boyfriend simply has no luck in this game or he doesn’t mind that he’s letting him win, ‘cause he knows Sousuke he’s okay with whatever Rin decides.

Rock-paper-scissors always settled everything without a hitch. Until now.  
Now it’s different. Never have they had such an outstanding amount of draws. They keep on reading each other mind: rock vs. rock, scissors vs. scissors, paper vs. paper. Five times in a row. Seven. Ten.  
And it would be frustrating enough if the matter at hand was a futile one, but this definitely isn’t… Rin wanted that cock up his ass, like, yesterday, so why isn’t it happening already? Is it too much to ask?  
It sure seems so. He regrets not going with the flow, which would have resulted in Sou-kun realizing he **has** to be on top. And his current inability to see that, well, it’s kind of killing the mood.  
How can he be so blind, come on!   
What is his problem? Does he think has to live up to some unreachable standard? Does he believe something happened between Rin and Haru and that he might not be as good as his ‘rival’? Nah, no way.

Sousuke loves to be challenged, and he’s fuelled up – and turned on – by competitions. It’s not that.  
Then what? Surely not what is bothering Rin himself; they are not _that_ similar. Certainly Sousuke wouldn’t let something so silly bother him, right? He won’t talk unless he’s asked, and the tension is becoming unbearable, so…

“What’s the matter with you? If you don’t fucking want me, you should say so and spare us both the misery of dragging this for much longer!” He half shouts, with more animosity than he had meant to put in his words. It’s just that, maybe, the matter really is a lack of interest on Sousuke’s part and while he knows that they’re friends first and Sou would never lead him on, there’s still a stupid little voice inside his head that is whispering really nasty things (the same voice who kept telling him that he would never be good as those Aussie swimmers, never be good enough for swimming at the Olympics, never good enough to beat Haru), and- 

“I _do_ want you. Don’t you dare ever doubt that.” He says, his voice so sure and steady that it makes Rin shiver with anticipation. “But I don’t want to hurt you.”  
Really? REALLY? How the heck is this happening? Has he somehow ended up in some idiotic fairy tale and taken the role of the helpless frail princess without even realizing it? Sousuke has hardly ever been so indecisive and awkward around him, but then again this is their first time and it might just be that he’s scared of screwing – eheehehe – up and make it miserable for the both of them. Well, that’s pretty much a given. Rin has done his research, enjoying to get his information out of a very flustered Rei, and has come to expect that it’s the kind of thing that it will get better with time and experience. Just like swimming. Just like a lot of things, if not every single thing, really. He won’t hold it against Sousuke, if it sucks. He doesn’t want that responsibility, though. Rin wants simply to lie down, relax, and try to enjoy this as much as he can. For that to happen, however, he has to reassure Sou. To tease him into action.

“You’re giving yourself way too much credit, and seriously underestimating me, if you _do_ think you could actually hurt me. I bet I will barely feel anything at all. So stop it, okay? Just stop it.” 

“You won’t feel anything at all, you say?” Sousuke finally snaps out his daze, and smirks as kisses his way down Rin’s abdomen. “We’ll see about that.” 

He definitely feels _something_.   
A mouth, hot and wet around his cock. Bringing him so fucking close to come, and then suddenly leaving as he gets dangerously close to come. Lips, kissing their way to his perineum. Teeth, grazing against his inner thighs. A naughty, filthy, tongue circling around his hole and dipping inside to open him up.  
Hands, lazily fondling with balls before Sousuke stops all together to get the lube. A finger, replacing that naughty tongue. Then two.

He feels quite a lot, to be honest, when Sousuke has finally had enough of preparing him – he’s not gonna break, for fuck’s sake! – and rams into him with a little too much enthusiasm.  
That’s okay. That’s exactly what he wanted. Looks like this doesn’t have to suck, after all.  
It might even be pleasurable, despite the messiness and awkwardness it entails.

And since this faithful day, they merrily fucked each other into oblivion ever after.


	6. That one letter that changed everything

It’s three or four letters a month, at first.   
Rin writes him about anything that goes through his head, about the weird stuff he has seen with his very eyes - making it sound like he was living in the jungle, rather than in a dorm - or the people he had met. Most of all, he keeps him updated with his accomplishments related to swimming.   
He sounds quite happy with his decision to move, at first.

As time goes by, however, Sousuke comes home to find his mailbox empty more often than not. Still, it’s one letter every two weeks. He wishes for more, he is tempted to ask for a telephone number so that he can call and make sure Rin is okay, but he gets that now that his friend has familiarized with his surrounding he’s probably too busy practicing and pissing off Australian swimmers – the only kind of people he bothers trying to socialize with, usually – to get in touch with the ones he left behind.  
That _must_ be why he has stopped pouring his heart out through the lines, and simply keeps up the sharing of unusual sightings of really weird animals or tells him about the urban legends he’s been hearing around. From whom, he doesn’t say. People Rin has met are rarely mentioned, not even in a ‘there’s this guy I really want to beat’ kind of way (which would be how he first heard of Nanase, of course).  
Well, that comes with moving to a country without even knowing the language that well. Maybe the only Japanese kids he has met were either very dull or very unfriendly.   
They will warm up to him, eventually. It’s kinda impossible not to: Sousuke knows that all too well. Really, there’s no need to worry.  
Not even when two letters a month become one. 

Not until he receives _that_ letter.  
The one where Rin wonders if ever had any talent at all, where he laughs at himself for believing hard work could really make any difference and set him apart from dozens of people who were pursuing the dream of competing at the Olympic games just as he was. He admits he has been skimming over the subject of friends because he has made none, they just couldn’t understand his feelings and made no effort to.  
A letter that wasn’t even addressed to him, originally. He can still see the imprint of Nanase’s name on the paper, where it has been replaced with his own. Despite telling himself that it’s good that Rin felt he had a couple of good friend he could share his insecurities with, it stings to realize that Rin had even considered sending this letter to someone else – Sousuke has accepted that Rin being his best friend doesn’t mean that he’s Rin’s but he really doesn’t like to be reminded of that. Besides, there’s also a cruel thought in head that keeps nagging him.  
 _’I cannot confess this to Haru, because I would let him down. On the other hand, it’s not like I care what Sousuke thinks of me._ ’  
And that’s stupid, and totally not true but he can’t help being a little mad at Rin.   
Not enough to stop him from replying straight away, but maybe dampening a little his supportive side. He’s never been good at lying, by the way, so how could he tell Rin that everything was going to be alright?

 _’You can always come back home’_ : that’s what he told him, selfishly.  
Rin didn’t, and stopped writing him. Aside from the initial bitterness, he soon grew quite concerned about his friend. _That_ letter had not been the outlet to a fleeting moment of weakness, it was the tip of the iceberg that was threatening to sink Rin’s dreams and hopes. It wasn’t a cry for help: it was statement of helplessness.   
Rin had clearly suffered a huge blow to his self-assurance, and admitting he had been too rush in his decision to move to Australia and going back home was too much for him to bear.   
Sousuke tried to get to him, to make him understand that there was no shame in coming back and find another way to make his dream come true. People did that all the time, didn’t they?  
Rin never wrote back, and it killed Sousuke to know that his friend was having a really hard time and being unable to do anything about it. Not even by simply being at his side.  
If it weren’t for the updates he received from Gou, really, he wouldn’t even have known if his friend was still alive. It was kind of sad, yet strangely comforting, how they bonded over their mutual feeling of abandonment.

He started training harder than ever before, forcing himself not to care. He clearly wasn’t someone who Rin needed, was he?   
He actually believed he has succeeded. He though he couldn’t care less.  
He was wrong. Again.

All it took was a rumor, shocked whispers of how the Iwatobi and Samezuka team got disqualifed because some guy named Matsuoka swam in relay with the Iwatobi team instead of his own, to have Sousuke go back to their hometown and be there for Rin this time.  
To make sure nobody would get between him and his dream, not even Rin himself. He will not allow it.  
So much for not caring, right?

If anyone has really been helpless, here, it has always been him.  
Unable to sever his ties with the boy that was now his roommate or to admit that his feeling for him have always run so deeply that they could have never been drowned.

Rin doesn't know, though.  
Rin can never know.


	7. Liar

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's something off about Sousuke, and Rin is determined to know what is it.

_Your own best friend, you need nothing else_  
 _(Scream! Liar, liar, liar, liar.)_  
  
 **The Niro - Liar**

*****************************************

Rin knows. Sousuke might think he doesn't, but he does.  
He knows he's being lied to, he knows that he's being kept in the dark about something. 

About the reason why he hadn't looked quite so enthusiastic about being scouted, the secret behind his hesitancy when Rin mentioned international competitions. And there's more: why did he really come back, why did he chose Samezuka, why isn't he bitter about Rin never trying to get in touch with ever since he stopped replying to Sousuke's letters?

Asking wouldn't accomplish much. Sousuke would lie by omission. He would give a vague answer, just like he did when Rin questioned him about coming back to their hometown. All he can do is wait, show him that he's got a friend who he can talk to whenever he feels ready to. Watch over Sousuke and look for signs that can give him the answers he's looking for. They're not so easy to understand, though.  
Does he have a pain in his shoulder, or is it part of a ritual not dissimilar to what Rin does with his googles?  
When he said that he should go for a run more frequently, was he implying that he gave up training for his stamina because he's thinking of giving up swimming or is Rin reading too much into a casual statement?  
See: that's kinda hard to tell.

Patience, moreover, has never been Rin strongest suit. He's living proof that pretending everything is alright only makes one more miserable, and that sometimes people don't know how to ask for help. They don't even think they need it, until they see that hand outstretched.  
He refuses to stay by the sidelines, watching Sousuke drown. 

"What's the matter with you?" He asks, stopping him on the doorstep of their shared room.  
"Mh?" He feigns ignorance, of course. He even dares to smile. "Nothing."  
"Don't you even try to lie to me, Sou. I know there's something you're not telling me." Rin insists, barely suppressing the urge to take him by the collar and slamming him against the door. Sousuke would probably let him, but then he would glare at him so hard that Rin would drop his hands immediately. He's not looking forward to that.  
It's been a while, really, since he has seen Sousuke as intimidating. Ages. He definitely can be, especially now that he's even more massive than Makoto.  
He bites his lips and clenches his fists in frustration, trying to come up with something that would make Sousuke confess what's troubling him.

"It's just... It's stupid, really."  
Well, seeing Rin really upset about it seems to have been the key to that.  
"I don't care. " He rolls his eyes and then barks an order: "Spit it", he says.

"I fell in love." Sousuke sighs, with a bitter smile.  
Rin is taken aback, and really doesn't know what he's supposed to say to that.

It's. Like. Woah. How does _that_ have anything to do with...  
Has he chosen Samezuka because it's the closest to her school?  
Has the person he fell in love with hurt him? Has she broken him so bad that he doesn't care about swimming anymore? Does she have a say in what on how and when he should swim?  
In other words: whose face does he have to punch?  
Yeah, that's right. **Nobody** gets away with fucking around with the people he holds dear. Someone's got to pay.

The silence is broken by Sousuke nervous chuckle.  
"Told you it was stupid. I'm sorry if I made you worry about me. You've got enough on your plate without-"  
"Shut up. Friends are important to me, you know that." That's exactly what they talked about the other night, so Sousuke definitely is aware of what are Rin priorities. He's not losing friendships over swimming, not anymore. ' _There's nothing you should be afraid to tell me, okay? Even if you think it's stupid. I don't judge. Not much._ ' he kinda wants to add, but he's not that good at talking about his feelings yet. It tries to convey the message through a fond look and a hand on Sousuke shoulder.  
"So, who is she?" Rin asks, instead.

"There's no 'she', Rin." He says, removing the hand from his shoulder and erasing the distance between them. "It's you." Then he claims the other boy's lips for a quick and rather desperate kiss. Rin is too shocked, really, to reciprocate.  
Taking advantage of the shocked state his crush is in, Sousuke gently shoves him aside so that he can leave the room.

Dumbfonded by the revelation, there's only one thing Rin can do.  
And that's not running after Sou, because that would require analyzing what he feels for his roommate. No way. Not right now.

He sends a message.

_**From: Rin  
** 'Ai? Can you come and punch me in the face?' _


	8. Once upon a dream

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt by anon on Tumblr: Sousuke and Rin babysit together and imagines themselves in the future together with kids.
> 
> Which led me to painfully think about one of my favourite pairings, Owen/Cristina, and how children are not something you can find a compromise over... Definitely not what the prompter had in mind, sorry X°D!
> 
> (my Tumblr is revengeisalwaysanoption.tumblr.com, if anyone wants to leave prompts)

"I said **no**." And really, why does he have to deal with _three_ kids looking at him like he just stole those chocolate bars - the ones he's definitely not buying, yeah - from their hands to eat them in front of their eyes? Why does he have to face an outraged sadness, a teary eyed disbelief?

That's what you get from being the sensible one, he guesses. You cannot forbid Sousuke from buying more sweets and sugary drinks without expecting some kind or retaliation, Rin. And it doesn't matter if he is doing for their sake, if he simply doesn’t want them to get sick or have their teeth filled with cavities. He's the monster, now. The cruel, stingy, candy-hating monster. Thankfully they are not throwing a tantrum; they are all too polite to make a scene in public.

"But pleeeeeeaseeee.... Pretty please, shark-oniichan? Yamazaki-san said we could have them!" Once again they try to change his mind, once again they remind him of the mutiny that has been perpetrated by a big man child who answers to the name of Sousuke Yamazaki.   
He should have known how easily Sou could be swayed by the silent tears of a disappointed little kid.

"No is no." He states with a sigh, as Ren and Ran mutter something that sounds like _'he's worse than our brother'_ (he takes that as a compliment, though), stick their tongues out and hide behind Sousuke's legs.

Damn. He didn't signed up for this. All he wanted was to let Makoto and Haru have a nice date. Since Makoto would be busy enough keeping his boyfriend out of the aquarium tanks, Rin told him he could help and mind the twins in the meantime. It's not like it was going to be so hard, given that they probably were the most quiet and well-behaved children he ever met, right?  
Wrong.  
The two might be a little less noisy and a lot more collaborative than most kids their age, but they are still as reckless and demanding and stubborn. Like now. Or ever since they have realized Sousuke is not a bad guy but can actually be an ally, honestly.

It has taken them both by surprise to realize he is fun to be around, gentle and kind like Makoto and calm and collected like Haru. Way more competitive and playful than both. He still is a weird mysterious guy to their eyes, but like the good kind of weird, you know?  
Indeed, Rin too is amazed by how well he gets along with them. More often than not, he barely tolerates anyone below the age of 18 and claims to have always disliked children, even when he was a child himself. Not that such a statement was needed, since Rin has witnessed how meeting kids has always darkened his mood.

So, despite having imagined every little detail of his future life with Sousuke, Rin has never seen them with a child (or more than one, why not?). It's not that Sou would deny him that, no.  
That's kind of the point. He might argue that taking care of a baby is a massive responsability, and that it requires time that Rin, as a competitive swimmer, does not have. That it's one of those things that cannot be done half-assed, unless you want to purposefully inflict pain on your son or daughter. Still, if they reached an agreement to maybe wait until Rin retires to coach young boys and girls to help them make their olympic drea come true...   
Yeah, Sousuke would eventually cave in. He might even try to be enthusiastic about it, for Rin's sake. Because that's what love is, right? Put aside your stupid issues - _why can't it be just Rin and me? Am I not enought? Have I ever been enough?_ \- to let your significant other have what they want most... No, it fucking isn't.  
Not to Rin, at least. Their love isn't a martyrdom: he will make sure it never turns into that.  
If Sousuke doesn't want kids, he can live with that. He can be the cool uncle. He will be around plenty of children, anyway, so he can cope with not having one of their own. Especially if it means letting the poor kid be brought up by an unloving parent. He has seen what kind of damage it can cause, and certainly doesn't wish it on his own child. 

That's what Rin used to think, whenever he felt like venturing into the 'married with kids' fantasies. ' _There's no way it would ever work.'_ he used to say to himself, not allowing the bitterness of what he cannot have spoil his relationship with Sousuke.  
Today, however, might have shown them that they were both wrong.  
Of course, babysitting other's people children is nothing like raising your own kid, but still... Seeing Sousuke being so happy and carefree with Ran and Ren, getting actively involved in entretraining them and trying to spoil them rotten while Rin has to be the strict and sensible one... Well, it gives him hope they can discuss about it in the future, without having to fear that is boyfriend is being foolishly selfless.

Keeping that in mind, he might be able to get back home without killing anyone. Might even refrain from snapping at Sou and being really mean to strangers who dare to look at him in the eye.   
Holding on to that thought, he can do it. Probably.

***********************************

He has not changed is mind. Not really.

Children are helpless, whiny, creatures who feel the need to be intollerably loud for no reason at all. Silly things who cower in fear at the sight of him. He made two of them cry, this week, just by meeting their gaze.   
They're the future adults of this world, adults whose behaviour is likely the result of their upbringing. That's not a responsability he thought he could endure.  
Of course, if Rin really wanted a kid then he would have pretended he was okay with it - as long as it was not something standind in the way between him and a gold metal at the Olympics, naturally - so that the adoption (or whatever other option they would have chosen) could go through... But then, when the child when the child was actually there in his arms... Could he love her (or him)?  
What if he can't? That's too big of an if, isn't it?

And then Rin brought these two kids to their date. It's the first time Sousuke has ever seen him around children, and seeing how enthusiastic he is and how gentle but assertive when needed he can be.... Well, it makes him imagine if that's how they would be with their child. Rin being the strict and careful one, him being the indulgent and careless one. Nah, he doesn't think he would let his own kid get away with being so annoingly greedy. Rin would probably be the softer one, he's pretty sure of that.  
He's also pretty sure, now, that not all children are so bad. Some, like Tachibana's siblings, are quite likeable.  
It's a realization that leads one into wondering if he could thin of his own as loveable, you know?  
That's another big if, one worth being explored and resolved in the future.

"Oi, what's going on in that head of yours?" Rin asks, snapping him out of his thoughts. "And get off my bed."  
"Just thinking that today turned out to be a pretty good one. With you and those pests, I mean." Contrary to his expectations, it really has been one of the best dates they ever had. "And don't you pretend that you don't want me here." 

"Yeah, it was." He smiles, before crashing down onto Sousuke and forcing him to make some room for Rin too. "I don't know about you, but I'm going to sleep. Goodnight." 

"Goodnight." Sou says, laughing softly at the petulant sound of Rin's voice.

Exhausted, they fall asleep snuggled in that small bed. They are definitely going to regret it in the morning, when their backs are going to be so stiff they can barely get up but for now it's all good. More than good.  
Amazing, actually.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TUMBLR PROMPT: Rei is really, really sick. But, Nagisa's taking care of him. He needs to help bathe Rei, because the megane is feverish, and dizzy

"I said **no**." And really, why am I saying that, again? Since when has Nagisa ever taken 'no' for an answer?

Well, actually, that's not entirely true because when it comes to consent over intimate matters he would never insist.  
But that's not the point here, thank you. The point is that I don't want him to come over, and keep on calling me or sending me texts with silly emoticons won't change my mind.  
I don't want him here, not today. Not when I am dressed in my old PJs. Not when I've got a red runny nose and I am constantly shivering despite being covered in sweat. He can come visit another day, a day in which I'm not so far from being beautiful that it almost pains me to look at myself in the mirror.   
On top of it all, I also kind of stink right now. Since I'm already in the bathroom I guess I could draw myself a bath but the tiles feel so cool against my forehead that I really don't want to move.

"Please, Rei-chan? I am already on my way..." He tries to make me feel guilty, but it doesn't work as well over the phone as it does when he can look at me with those big puppy eyes. "No is no, Nagisa-kun. You can leave the notes and homework from school in my mailbox."  
"But wai-" I hang up, too tired to keep on arguing. The bath can wait, I think.  
A little nap is in order, now.

I wake up to a comforting and familiar touch, to fingers barely brushing against my skin and not daring to go further, not until I can actually understand what's going on. I know who's there. The one I just asked not to come. I try to gather the strenght to cover my face in embarrassment over my current state, to find the energy to reprimand Nagisa for not listening to me. I fail miserably. My arms are heavy like lead and opening my mouth is too much of an effort for my sore muscles. I can barely open my eyes and nod, acknowledging my guest's presence.  
"Rei-chan, shouldn't you be in bed?" Hello to you too, Captain Obvious.  
His voice rings in my head, making my temples throb painfully. I must have made a face when he talked, because he lowers his tone down to a whisper before calling my name again. I weakly turn my gaze towards the bathtub, hoping he will get the message.  
"Oh! Do you want me to run you a bath?" I barely have the time to nod, that I can already hear him turning the taps on. While he's busy filling up the bathtub, he tells me that really was planning on leave my notes and my homework in the mailbox, but as he was walking down the street he met my mother.  
She was worried about leaving me home alone, though it couldn't be helped. Would Nagisa mind dropping by and checking up on me? 'No problem, madam.' He said, and so she handed him her keys and promised she would be back in a few hours. How convinient, a little too-  
"Hey, can you manage to undress yourself or should I-" I shake my head and then nod again when he starts unbuttoning my PJs top.  
"It's no fun doing this when Rei-chan can barely perceive it, let alone appreciate it." He mutters, making me smile. Or at least, I try to. I guess it didn't come out as a grimace, because otherwise he wouldn't be kissing me with a smile of his own on his soft lips. Without wasting any time, he get rid of the bottoms and proceeds to carry me to tub.   
Though I never underestimated his strength, it still amazes me how easily he can support my weight and help me get into the warm water.  
I half expect me to join me in the tub, and that he does. Then he grabs a cloth - or is it some kind of weird sponge? My mind is hazy and I really can't tell - and washes away the filth and sweat from my body. As the cloth brushes against my inner thighs, he starts babbling about things I cannot follow. I can hear ( _feel_ ) him struggling to keep his voice down, though.  
A+ for effort, Nagisa. 100 out 100 for the actual lack of noise, really. And bonus points for not making this awkward. And by this, I mean a situation that if I wasn't sick it would be surely sensual - meant as the prelude to a sexual intercourse - but is affectionate and totally chaste, instead.  
Thank you so much.

Everything is nice and warm and clean, now. Little by little, I start to feel a bit reinvigorated. Enough to take a good at him. Not that I see much, with my lenses all clouded up. I remove my glasses he comes closer, until he's practically glued to my back.   
"Is this really necessary?" I find myself asking, though I know he will say that it's crucial to my cleaning process or something.  
"Yeah." As expected, he sounds genuinely surprised that I had to ask. "I need to wash your hair now, duh."

His fingertips press not too gently against my scalp, and I've to bite back a moan.  
Woah, this is definitely more than a simple hairwash. This is foreplay...  
"Feels good, mh?" He asks, teasingly, before nipping my earlobe. Hey! I changed my mind: I want him to do more, I want to have those skilled hand all over me. I want... Not for him to stop. Why has he stopped?  
The answers come in the form of water falling on my head. Rinsing. Right. Doesn't feel too bad, though not as good as Nagisa's fingers. It stops just as I was throughroughly enjoying it, of course.  
Nagisa helps me up, and wraps me in a towel. He has me sitting on a stool, as he dries my hair. I normally would complain about being coddled like a baby, not having to raise a finger because I've got him ready to whatever I need without even asking for it. Not today. Today, well, I guess it's okay. I will let myself be pampered.  
I will let him dress me in a clean PJs, and just raise my arms as if I were Ciel Phantomhive and he was my Sebastian. Not that I read those kind of things. Must have heard about it from Gou. Totally.

Exhausted by the short walk from the tub to my room, I feel sleep snuggled against Nagisa in that small bed. We are definitely going to regret it a few hours, when our joints are al going to be so stiff that we can barely get up, but for now it's all good. More than good.  
Amazing, actually.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yeah. I **purposefully** tried to have this story and the previous one having a very similar start and ending since I wrote them both in the same day, one after the other.


	10. Everybody's gotta learn sometimes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rin learns to be a little less self-centered, whilst Sousuke learns to be a little more selfish.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heavily influenced by the discussions on the sourin tag, and Nightcloak's headcanons ;)!  
> This goes to all you awesome people on Tumblr ;) !

_Change your heart, look around you.  
Change your heart, it will astound you._

(Everybody's gotta learn sometimes, Beck)

The moment they told me all the details about their offer, I was sold. There was nothing more I could ask for, including the fact that I would be able to swim with him for another four years. Probably more, if we both made it to the national team. A boy can dream, right?  
The moment I mentioned Sousuke Yamazaki, I feel it all crumbling down.  
"Yamazaki-san?" They said. "He has turned down our offer, I’m afraid."

 _Smash, Rin. Smash this damn telephone and stop listening to the bullshit they are trying to feed you. Because this can’t be true, right?’_ I thought, but my body just wouldn’t listen to me.  
I kept holding the receiver close to my ear, as I mumbled a puzzled “Huh? Alright.” That was all I could say, as I slowly let the news sink in.

They went and talked, talked and talked some more about the great opportunity that had been offered to me and that I was so wisely about to accept.  
They expected me to engage in some sort of conversation, to ask questions and talk about my future goals but I was totally unable to do more than simply breath in and breath out.

I really couldn’t trust my voice not to break, not to stutter. And my brain couldn’t focus on anything but Sousuke and the big lie he’s been telling me ever since we met again, so… I abruptly ended the call, having made a fool of myself for long enough.  
There’s no way they are still interested in me, after this, but it’s not like I care. My mind is still obsessing over **him** , trying to understand why he would do something like that to _me_.

Like, what did I ever did to him that has made him unable to confide in _me_? Does he value me so little, as a captain, that he doesn’t think I should know everything about _my_ own team?  
What if this is nothing more than a prank? What if he is gloating now that I fell right into it? No, it cannot be. He would never joke about swimming with _me_. He said so himself.

Yeah, right, but until that call I was sure he wouldn’t lie about it either.  
He might say that he didn’t exactly lie, because he did get scouted by that university, but rather omitted part of the truth by not telling _me_ that he has no intention of going there.  
As if that would change anything.

Only two possible explanations come to my mind, and I hate them both.  
I mean, option 1 is: ‘I want to make sure not to swim with you until we both make it to the Olympic games, because I realized you are dragging me down’ and option 2 is no better, as it implies that there’s something seriously wrong that prevents him from accepting.  
Fuck it. _I_ need answers. _I_ need them now. I _demand_ them.  
Nobody can stop me from confronting him about this, maybe even punch him in the face for leading me on and have _me_ thinking that we still were friends when we obviously aren’t.  
I’m not a friend to him, at least. He is to me and nothing is gonna change that.  
I hate that ridiculously good looking face, anyway. That face I used to be so good at reading and that can so easily deceive me now.  
It definitely deserves the strongest punch ever.

I don’t care if he feels cornered, or scared, when I’ll get him alone.  
I don’t care if he feels guilty, or ashamed. He brought this on himself, trying to hide things from _me_.

Ah, there he is. _Casually stroking his left shoulder_. Right outside our room, wondering if he should go in or not. _Absent mindedly flexing his shoulder, wincing a little._  
Fearing that I’m already inside.  
Conjuring yet another lie, just in case I did call the university like I mentioned I would do, this morning (I should have noticed the way his face shut down at that, really...)  
 _Massaging the sore muscles, checking the range of movement that a damaged rotator cuff allows._

Oh fuck. He's been doing that a lot, lately, hasn't he?  
Casually massaging it, making sure not to overwork it, not signing up for butterfly single events, swimming freestyle when competions are not official...  
It's **his** shoulder. It's his fucking shoulder. That's what stopping him.  
Damn, I feel even angrier now. The danger he's putting himself in... We are supposed to go pro, for fuck's sake. And no professional athlete would put his recovering in jeopardy like this. What the hell is he thinking?  
He's making it even worse and for what?  
 _For me._

"Oi." I say, after taking a deep breath. There goes my failed attempt to calm down. I tried, I did, but he has the audacity to smile when he sees me and I... I cannot help but shoving him aside, purposefully hurting his injured shoulder. I open the door, and drag him inside.  
I'm about to grasp the loose collar of his T-shirt when it hits me.  
The way that smile didn't quite reach his eyes.  
The sadness that there's in them, hiding just beneath the surface.  
Of course.  
How could I have failed to see it for so long?  
This is **not** about _me_.  
It never has been. **He** is the one whose dream is hanging in the balance. The one with a best friend who disappeared for five years, just after leaving **him** for a bunch of guys with girly names.  
Some friend I must be, if he is so sure that I care about him only if he can swim with me... That he's gonna lose me, otherwise.  
Damn, you idiot I wish I could punch the stupidity out of you, Sousuke. I go for a hug, instead. He freezes, at first, but then he melts into the embrace.  
"Hey. What's up, Rin?" I hear him asking, sounding more than a little concerned.

No, damn it. **He** shouldn't be the one comforting _me_ , as if I had a near death experience or something. _I_ should be the one comforting **him**.  
"Rin, come on..." He insists, slightly panicking and still not letting me go."What is this ab-"  
"Don't play dumb with me, Yamazaki." I sneer. "You know all too well what this is about."  
"I really don't k-" He tries to feign ignorance once again, but I had enough with his lies. The deceit of Rin Matsuoka stops here. Now.

"You really do. You know that I didn't teach you to swim butterfly so you could go and hurt yourself, you idiot.  
But maybe you need me to spell it for you? It's about life being... F-fucking u-u-unfair." My voice breaks, forcing me to stop for a while. Tears are falling down my eyes - I want to help him, I want it so much but I don't know how... it was supposed to be OUR dream, we were supposed to be together at the finish line - and I drop my head not to have him see. He doesn't need the burden of my frustration. "It's about **your** shoulder. It's about **you** not telling me that you're injured. It's about  our dream of swimming together for the gold being put on hold. It's about being selfish, once in a while, a put yourself first. It's ab-" Suddenly he is all over me, shutting me up with a kiss.  
It ends before I get the chance to realize what is happening, and that I really wouldn't mind to reciprocate, though.

"Is this selfish enough for you?" He asks, moving away but still staring at my mouth.  
"You can do better." I say, challengingly.  
He dives in, claiming my lips again for a more desperate, passionate and hungrier kiss. And why exactly is he biting, licking and sucking my bottom lip instead of my... No, let's not go there, Rin. Not yet. Not when there are other matters at hand, which don't seem so important when you have somebody else's tongue sliding against your own as their hands roam all over your body and squeeze lightly your ass - and how do people in the movies always know where to put their hands? Mine are awkwardly grazing his nape, unsure of what is expected from them - but they are. Crucial. Really.  
"Mh..." I mumble, reluctantly going back to what was being discussed. "... still not selfish enough." 

"What about using our five years promise to have you swear that you won't leave me behind, then?" He asks, desperately attempting to sound playful but not quite succeeding, as the bitterness seeps through.  
"It would be a waste." I answer, pecking him on the lips. "As it would be asking me to realize our dream and win the gold. You know that I will, just as you should know that I won't leave you _again_."you want. And I'll be here, right beside you, every step of the way." 

He still doesn't believe me, of course. He shakes his head, sighing and lets himself be dragged on the bed.  
He'll see.  
We are going to get there - to the life we've always been dreaming of - together.  
 _I_ will prove him wrong. 

Just wait. 


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So... We noticed how self-assured Nitori was looking in this picture: http://i61.tinypic.com/5kil9f.jpg and this thing just wrote itself: Sousuke coaches Nitori on how to look sexier.

Of course he has been noticed, after his performance at prefecturals and regionals. Of course now he had dozens of them who follow him around when he's not at school, much to his chagrin and to Nitori's envy.  
He wish he could catch their attention like that... Or have them stare in awe at a safe distance, like they do with Rin-senpai.  
But he's got no luck Neither with scouts nor with girls.  
He is looking at himself in the mirror, now, as he completes the last routine of his work out.  
Personally, he thinks he is not so bad. He's not a human tree-like person like Yamazaki-senpai and he hasn't the killer body of Rin-senpai (not YET) but he has his charming points, right?  
So what is wrong with him?

"The fact that you're asking yourself that question, Nitori. And that it's written all over your face. That's what's wrong." A voice comments, from behind him.  
He has to turn and face the person that has just arrived, not quite believing it really can be Yamazaki-senpai.   
But it his. Sousuke Yamazaki is actually giving him advices on how to catch a girl's attention.  
It had all had to do with self-confidence, he believed. Unless you want somebody to look after you, rather than look up to you. Still, it was a universally aknowledged fact that self-assurdness is much sexier than insecurity.   
It didn't mean that you actually have to believe you're the best they could ever had, and that if they don't give a fuck about you it's their loss... But you have to make them think you do.   
Self-confidence, indeed, is the key to a woman's heart.

"Well, it works for boys too if that's what you're interested in. No judgement here." 'As long as it's not Rin.' He probably wanted to add, but didn't.  
There was no need. Aiichirou could read it in his eyes every time he was near to his captain. It was plain to see even when he tried to be carefree, as in the photo he was looking at now. The way he kept Rin close to him, the possessiveness of his hold... Well, no judgement coming from Nitori either.   
As long as his teammates were happy, he was happy for them too.

He focused on himself, instead.  
He did manage to pull off quite a 'Pls, bitch, I know I'm the best.' look that, as Sousuke-senpai had predicted, made him a lot more intriguing.  
In a matter of weeks he started to hear some of the girls - a couple of boys too - mutter under their breath "Oi, the breakstroke swimmer is quite hot too, isn't he?"

Yep, mission accomplished.  
Sousuke's coaching was really paying off.


	12. Chapter 12

Non è che non apprezzi il pensiero, eh. Una festa a sorpresa - che sorpresa non è, visto che Momotarou è incapace di non rivelare un segreto ai quattro venti - non può fare che piacere, a meno che uno non consideri il proprio compleanno un giorno infausto o non gli piaccia farsi trovare impreparato. E lui non si rispecchia in nessuna delle due circostanze... Be', non del tutto.  
Non capisce bene cosa ci sia da festeggiare - invecchiare è naturale, non è certo il risultato di allenamenti e forza d'animo - ma gli piace vedere i sorrisi sui volti dei propri compagni (amici), e sopratutto su quello di Rin.  
Rin, che non gli si è staccato un attimo di dosso. Che aveva sempre una scusa per mettergli un braccio intorno alla vita, o intorno alle spalle, o accarezzargli distrattamente la schiena... scendendo pericolosamente oltre i fianchi, nonostante non fossero al riparo da sguardi indiscreti.  
Che ha voluto addirittura imboccarlo, dopo aver tagliato la prima fetta di torta.

No, lui ha apprezzato il gesto.  
Però, ecco, avrebbe preferito ci fossero soltanto lui e Rin a quella festa. E che si fosse tenuta nella loro camera, piuttosto che nella sala del club di nuoto. Avrebbe così potuto assaggiare quella panna direttamente dal corpo di Rin, scendendo lungo il suo torace ed andando ad afferrare con i denti la fragola che avrebbe posto all'altezza dell'ombelico.  
E poi sarebbe andato ancora più giù, ad assaggiare qualcosa di molto più invitante e delizioso di qualsiasi dolce.  
Ed invece è qui, in mezzo alla gente. Con Rin che continua a strusciarglisi contro, invitandolo a mandare tutti al diavolo. 

"Sousuke, c'è qualcosa che non va?" Gli domanda il suddetto, vedendolo scuro in volto. "So che avresti apprezzato qualcosa di più _intimo_ , ma... Ci sarà tempo anche per quello." 

"Me lo auguro." Risponde, sorridendogli appena. Non creda di cavarsela così, con un vago riferimento a qualcosa che verrà. Sousuke continuerà a tenere il muso finché non avrà ciò che più aspetta, un Rin Matsuoka da spogliare, tra le sue mani.

"Avrai il tuo regalo, vedrai. Arriverà quando meno te lo aspetti."

Sarà anche meglio.


	13. It's oh so quiet

Il tuo mondo era così silenzioso, prima che quei due entrassero a farne parte.  
Nagisa con il suo entusiasmo, la sua parlantina ed una tenacia senza eguali. Tanti sono stati scoraggiati dalla tua introversione, che ti fa sembrare freddo ed impassibile, ma a lui non è mai sfuggito nemmeno uno dei tuoi timidi sorrisi. Non si è mai allontanato di sua spontanea volontà, sei sempre stato tu a sparire. E lui è sempre lì, pronto ad aspettarti.

E poi c'è quel piantagrane di Sousuke. Incapace di non lanciarti frecciatine e provocazioni, di non infervorarsi quando si tratta di nuoto - e di un certo nuotatore dai capelli rossi.... - ma decisamente più allenato a controllare le proprie emozioni rispetto a Rin. Ti scopri divertito a stuzzicarlo, e la prima volta che ride per un tuo commento strampalato (onestamente a te sembrava perfettamente logico, ma il mondo molto spesso non riesce a stare al passo con i tuoi pensieri) ti senti come ti avessero appena messo una medaglia al collo per il tuo perfetto stile libero.  
Confuso da quello che è appena successo. Felice. Confuso dalla tua felicità, visto che fino a quel momento non credevi che una cosa apparentemente così sciocca potesse avere per te così tanta importanza.  
E lo vuoi far sorridere di più. Lo vuoi vedere contento, se non altro perché quando è di buon umore è più tollerabile del solito.

"Sou-chan dovrebbe avere sempre un sorriso sulle labbra." Concorda Nagisa, facendo arrossire Sousuke che si limita a borbottare un _'E piantala di chiamarmi Sou-chan...'_

Il silenzio, nel tuo mondo, c'è ancora. C'è quando lo vuoi, quando lo vai a cercare e sai apprezzarlo ancor di più ora che hai una rumorosa alternativa. E non ti intendi né rinunciarvi né cederla a Rin o a Rei. Questo fa di te un insensibile ed ingordo egoista? Non te ne potrebbe fregar di meno. Davvero.


End file.
